Being predictable is usually boring. But being inconsistent is usually annoying.

It is a fine line, the one between unpredictability and inconsistency; between boredom and annoyance.

But whatever it is, that space between the two, that’s the space we need to try to occupy in our personal lives and in our relationships.

If it is our sex life, then we should know where we want to end up, we should know how to help our partner reach orgasm, but the route we choose should be different every time, we should push different buttons, try different methods, appeal to different areas of their body so that we use the whole canvas over time – not every time, but most definitely we should explore everywhere in order that we do not become predictable, in order that our love making is not boring, in order that we make a concerted effort to avoid infidelity (on both sides).

If it is our personal relationship, then we should be sure to be consistent with our message; our words and actions should go together and our intentions should be clear, but our delivery should vary, the words we use should expand and broaden, our ability to discuss, argue a point, make a point or see a point should always be malleable and interesting; we might always come to the same conclusion but there is no harm in talking everything over in an intelligent way, or even in an amusing way; sometimes we talk, other times we listen; at no time should we be ignorant, or annoying… or deaf to the thoughts of others.

Predictability is the best way to create a dull relationship, the best way to lose a relationship, the best way to wish you weren’t in a relationship; even if you are flying by private jet to Mauritius every weekend, in the end it becomes boring, predictable and even annoying – doing the same thing over and over again does not lend itself well to the fulfillment of desire or to the longevity of passion.

However, being totally inconsistent is not attractive either – flying off the handle at the slightest thing or disappearing without an explanation, arriving without an invitation or being late without warning; these things become annoying and irritating; the initial intrigue that arises with inconsistency is quickly replaced by a desire to never be around that inconsistency again. Inconsistency is not cool, it is disrespectful, childish and in the end it becomes so predictable that it is annoying.

It may take a little effort to be unpredictable, it may require some forethought and some planning, but without that effort, without that discipline, then we are sure to end up without something that was once so good.

Remember this, remember that variation is the key to keeping a life interesting; it is fine to have a consistent style with certain parts of our life but it is important to approach the same thing from different angles, to advance our options and expand our horizons.

If we don’t, then we are simply predictable; when we should try to be simply irresistible.

Guy Blews