A strong and healthy relationship between husband and wife is necessarily based upon a bedrock of trust and mutual respect. The fact is, most of us cannot be with our spouses all day every day – nor would we want to. Each of us needs to be able to live our own independent lives, but at the same time we need to be in harmony with our partner.

Unfortunately, the foundation that is the bedrock of trust of a relationship can develop cracks when there is the suspicion of infidelity on the part of one of the spouses. Once that suspicion seeps into the mind and heart of the husband or wife, it can be difficult to shake the feeling – or its influence on the health of the relationship.

You know that your spouse’s suspicions have gotten really bad if they have actually verbalized their concern to you directly. This means that they have probably been suspecting that you are having an affair for many months or years, but are just now bringing it up.

If you want to know how to convince your spouse that you are not cheating, here is how to do so in 5 steps:

1. Set aside a special time to talk about this with your spouse:

Important subjects to be discussed among a married couple deserve a special time and place. Somehow, the impact of strong statements or serious conversations is very different when said just before rushing out the door or during TV commercial breaks – as opposed to when you make the effort to set up a special time to discuss it. Set aside a special time and place where you can both focus on the conversation at hand.

2. Bring your concerns about your spouse’s beliefs to their attention:

The best way to defuse a person’s false beliefs or suspicions is to bring up the fact of these false beliefs directly in dialogue – to “call them out.” Talk directly to your spouse about the fact that you are aware that he or she believes you have not been faithful.

3. Honestly address any particular concerns or suspicions you spouse has:

Next, ask your husband or wife to spell out the reasons why they believe you have not been faithful. Be ready for them to have some pretty good reasons. Unless he or she is just the jealous type (which is a problem in itself), they may have some pretty good points. For example, if you spend an inordinate amount of time with a co-worker or another person outside the marriage, this could be a legitimate cause for suspicion.

Just hear out your spouse as they are talking and avoid getting defensive. Then, when they are finished, calmly address each of their claims.

4. Look into your spouse’s eyes and assure them that you love him or her:

They eyes are the windows to the soul. Look directly into your spouse’s eyes and assure him or her that you have been faithful to them. Let them know how important your relationship is and how you would never do anything to harm it.

5. Get on the path to bringing out the love that is still there between you:

Finally, make a promise to each other that you will find ways to grow your relationship so that you are feeling close to each other again.

Take these 5 steps to convincing your spouse that you are not cheating.