Have you ever been caught in a situation where you just didn’t know whether to stay or go? Has there been a time when a former flame just can’t seem to let you go? Were there moments that you considered friendship over romance after a relationship has failed? Well, there goes the case of the ex. Women almost always fall prey to this predicament when an ex boyfriend wants to be friends, and they are haunted by the big question: WHY? Why would an ex want to be friends? What does this mean? There’s an old, cheesy saying that when your ex lover wants to be friends with you after a breakup, it’s either he’s still in love with you or he was never in love with you to begin with. While this makes the situation even more complicated and could leave you more confused, there are a number of well-received reasons in society – to which men admit as well – that explain why your former lover would want to keep the ties: this time not with love, but with friendship.

He’s not ready to let go.

But he’s not ready to jump back into the relationship you two just ended either. He’s still in love with you, but he needs a break. But he’s not entirely sure if a permanent break would be what he really wants. He wants to keep the communications open, to see you occasionally, and to keep you in his life because he’s just not quite ready to let you go. When an ex boyfriend wants to be friends because he’s not ready to let you go, you have to be careful. Because you two obviously had reasons for ending the relationship. Being friends (which is, in post-breakup vocabulary, only means the same relationship without the benefit of physical intimacy) can be dangerous territory. Remember that as friends, there is no commitment. And so he can pretty much catch up with you every now and then, be the same sweet guy that he is, and have you falling for him even more deeply, only leave you in the end because the friendship wasn’t working for him either. It could be the other way around, of course. It can nurture the bond you two share and actually lead back to a reconciliation.

He’s keeping you for casual encounters.

Men can be cruel, we all know that—especially when what they want is sex and just sex. If your relationship ended without a third party, it might take a while for your ex to find a suitable rebound girl. While some men are comfortable paying for sexual services, others are not—and these select males would rather resort to sustaining sexual relations with an ex for many reasons: familiarity, trust, an established bond, pleasure. When an ex boyfriend wants to be friends, you can be positive and think that maybe he is sincere with his approach. But also keep an eye open. He could want to be friends so that he can continue sleeping with you. In that case, your ex is not looking for a simple friend in you. He wants a friend with benefits.

He really does see you as a friend now.

Relating back to the cheesy statement mentioned earlier, your ex boyfriend may not have been in love with you from the very beginning. And because he was never in love with you, it will be easy for him to maintain that level of connection. He feels comfortable having you in his life without the complication of a messy relationship and the demands of commitment and dating. Since he does enjoy your company perhaps, or he truly sees you as a friend that he would love to be a part of his life, then your ex boyfriend would really propose friendship after your relationship dies. In any case, you have to truly consider your ex’s personality, use whatever knowledge you have on his background and personality, and listen to your gut: when an ex boyfriend wants to be friends, it could mean a lot of things. Do not be blind to the signs. Keep your heart open, but your eyes more even.