Pain is a healthy warning sign that helps us address problems. You cannot escape pain. No matter how reclusive or prickly you act, pain will find you and you will inflict it. Pain exists to teach us caution and survival instincts. Pain is good and normal.

I have a foam rubber heart. Though, I have acted in the past as if my heart was glass and every hurt shattered my confidence. Even when repaired the fissures and cracks are clear in a glass heart. Instead of fearing the inevitable, I accept that pain is a normal part of life. Most people hurt us out of prickly defense mechanisms to protect their own glass heart. If everyone is defending a perceived glass heart what can we do to cut conflict and pain?

Now my foam rubber heart bounces back, retains color and is full again after each hurt. It is resilient and part of the cure. Viewing those who hurt us as hurting makes it easier to reach out with kindness. Magically, it also dissolves the perceived wrong! Even better, things don’t hurt as much. Defensiveness is gone. If the heart bounces back then there is no fear of being overwhelmed by pain.

We are not able to predict where and when pain will strike. Try be resilient without harshness or avoidance in the face of challenges. Getting prickly does not protect you from pain and anything negative will cause pain to someone else. We can stop the cycle of reacting to pain with defensiveness, anger and avoidance. This viscous cycle keeps us all hurting each other.

Close your eyes and imagine your heart as something squishy like ‘flubber’ or foam verses glass or stone. What happens to stone under too much pressure? Stone cracks. Glass shatters. My red foam rubber heart can rebound. Being free from fear is embracing the fact that pain is unavoidable. Set your standards, be kind and protect your friends and family the best you can by having clear boundaries. Embracing that all pain is unavoidable does not mean we are powerless to stop abusers.

You can avoid unnecessary strife by recognizing the motive behind the pain. Is the person acting out of their own pain? This will guide you on how to either reach out or cut off the source of pain. That is what pain is for! It is a warning so we can live better, help others and stop the cycle of fear of the unknown. What kind of resilient material is your heart made of?

Try it for a week and see if your world is ‘less prickly’.