To get good with women, one must actually be willing to let go of previously held beliefs. In fact, the less beliefs, the better.

The trick to succeeding with women is simple: One must be willing to move their consciousness OUT of the ego/mind, and into the Heart. The deeper our understanding of unconditional love, the less suffering we will experience.

Now, let’s see what these beliefs-mistakes are…

TOP 10 Mistakes Men Make With Women

1. They are too easily ‘sold’ on a woman, simply because she pays attention to them, or looks pretty. A beautiful woman can be like ‘kryptonite’ to a lonely man. We forget to Qualify women, and we end up trying to qualify ourselves to her instead (by talking too much, trying to impress her, etc.).

2. We think that being ‘nice’ and accommodating will make her love us. But being nice is often just a needy, childish way of manipulating women: “Look at how much I have done for you!” We do favors for women, we set aside our own values, we give gifts, we throw around compliments and we think this is what will make her want to reciprocate. Being nice is often an immature way of begging for attention and love. Of course, being kind, considerate, and nice are good things, provided we aren’t just faking it in order to gain something from others. So the intention behind our behaviors is something we need to take an honest look at.

3. On the other hand, some guys make the mistake of thinking they need to act like ‘jerks’ to get women. These men were usually rejected one too many times. We have all witnessed beautiful women on the arms of ‘jerks’, and secretly thought, “Is this what women really want?? ‘Bad-boys’ and ‘jerks’?” We are not aware of the actual screening processes women have, we’re in the dark; we often think we know what women supposedly want, but most guys don’t really know what’s going on inside the mind’s of so-called “attractive women.”

4. We try too hard. Perpetually afraid of “rejection”, we often try to appear to be something we are not: Perfect. So, we talk about our accomplishments, we share our ‘coolest stories’, we use our best jokes, and deep down we think that women won’t accept our sensitive, tender, human side. We display (and even exaggerate) our best side, yet we hide certain aspects of ourselves because we think women will disapprove. So we try to mask, or cover up the truth, and women usually know it.

5. Almost all men seem to have this problem: We hesitate to “escalate” things to an intimate level. We’re afraid to hold her hand, to hug her, to kiss her. Why? Because we don’t want to “offend” her. We don’t want to scare her away. So we end up chatting all night, and she goes home wondering if we aren’t attracted to her, and wondering if we’re “not a man” and so on. It would be so much easier if we could find out what our core fears are, and “transcend” (move beyond) them. When the blocks of fear (and insecurity) are removed, our inner-knowingness (wisdom) shines through.

6. We think that a phone number has value. As soon as we get a good response from her, we ask for her number, and then wonder why she isn’t responsive when we call her. We even brag to our friends, “I got 25 phone numbers tonight!” Great, that’s 25 girls who probably won’t return your calls. In most cases, phone numbers are simply a way to get rid of a guy, so he will feel good about himself and leave her alone. This is but one of many reasons why it becomes imperative to know if the woman we’re talking to is integrous or not. Without Integrity (which is more rare than we tend to realize), a healthy relationship is impossible anyway. So, “getting her number” does not mean success, but the ability to know if she’s an honest woman or not decidedly does.

7. We let women make the decisions and take the lead. When asked, “Where do you want to go tonight?” we actually reply, “I dunno! Where do YOU want to go tonight?” We have lost our Yang. Women want to be swept off their feet, they want to be taken on a fun adven.ture. They want a man they can trust to make those decisions, and they want to follow our leads. This isn’t about being a “control freak”, it’s about leadership and trust. “To be in control, but not controlling.”

8. We let women “control” the conversation, and talk about whatever they wish to talk about. Next thing you know, we’re in a heavy conversation about school, paying taxes, her ex-boyfriend… Chances are, if you let her steer the conversation, she will take the conversation and run it right into the ground. Our lives would be so much easier if only we knew how to lead the conversation in a more useful direction, and one that enables us to find out quickly if she is an honest woman or not. Again, without Integrity, there is no chance of true success.

9. We’re too insecure to “think out loud”, and we second-guess ourselves and end up nervous. We don’t want to put our foot in our mouth, so we play it safe and end up coming across as another plain, average, boring, logical guy (since that is precisely what insecure men are). Insecurity is a very important issue, and it is one we cannot “cover up” with “attraction techniques” and “pickup lines” and pretending to be something we are not.

10. We unconsciously fear “success with women” and all that it entails. For example, do you realize that if you get really good with women, you’ll end up losing some of your best friends as a result of them being jealous? Being good with women is also a huge responsibility, and requires some very fundamental attitude changes.

Now, most men are too proud to seek help in this area. A lot of men are even in denial. I can’t tell you how many men I have met who actually go online and argue with other men about “the way women are”, and all of the beliefs they have accumulated… and people will usually do more to defend a belief system than to improve their lives.

Succeeding with women isn’t about using lines and tricks and techniques. That stuff is what cowards rely on, it’s used to cover up the fact that they are not secure with themselves. This is really THE problem, and it is due to being stuck in the ego/mind. (Mind/body identification.)

However, when men are willing to sincerely open the Heart, this is where true wisdom is found, and this wisdom is accessible to anyone. But, we can’t access this wisdom unless we are willing to take the first step, which is to become extremely HUMBLE…

Only with HUMILITY can we set aside our limiting beliefs and open to new understandings and wisdom.

Currently, consciousness research has estimated that less than 4% of today’s population ‘comes from the Heart’.

Quite often, we confuse neediness with true love, and we give our power away to others due to this confusion. This is what seems to be the source of ALL problems with Dating, and Relationships.

Now, women seem to be especially good at detecting neediness, and I think there’s a lot of overwhelming evidence that our neediness is the biggest turn-off. Perhaps this neediness signals to her brain that we wouldn’t make a good father, lover, friend, companion… perhaps it really is hard-wired into their brains to avoid needy men?

I don’t know for sure, but one thing I do know is this:

Learn to open your Heart, to TRULY open it, and the neediness, the number one ’cause’ of our problems with women, simply disappear.

Many Blessings,

Stephane Hemon,
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