We are not born with the self confidence gene. It is a character trait we develop as we grow and mature.
Our level of self confidence is related to our level of self esteem. It is the difference between whether we soar like eagles or huddle like turkeys.
A healthy dose of self confidence increases your opportunities for success, improves your relationships on a business level as well as a personal level and makes you a better person to be around.
Like many aspects of life, we choose whether we want to live a fulfilling, confident, and happy existence or live in perpetual fear of failure, clinging on to what little self esteem we possess.
If you feel you could do with a shot of self confidence, here are 20 powerful tips to boost your confidence.
1. Take control
Take control of your life rather than letting it control you. Self confident people call the shots in their own lives and don’t allow minor set-backs to fill them with doubt.
2. Accept responsibility
Self confident people accept responsibility for their lives and actions. Allowing yourself to constantly play the “victim” is self-defeating and limiting.
3. Maintain balance
People who are self confident are balanced in their approach to life, business, and love.
4. Positive self-talk
Become your own best friend. Don’t allow the voice in your head to berate or belittle you. Convert your thoughts into positive, constructive and kind words of wisdom and understanding.
5. Abandon ‘shoulds, musts, and ought tos’
Allowing yourself to be dominated by “shoulds, musts and ought tos” is setting yourself up for failure. Be more flexible in your approach and state what you WANT to achieve, not what you SHOULD achieve.
6. Learn from mistakes
Accept that everyone makes mistakes. Learn from your mistakes so that they don’t re-occur and don’t allow mistakes to override your life.
7. Be assertive rather than aggressive
Being assertive is saying, “This is what I would like to have,” rather than, “This is what I want and I want it right now.” Self confident people are considerate of other’s feelings and try not to trample on toes.
8. Speak with moderation
People who lack self esteem often speak quickly to get the words out so they don’t waste other’s valuable time. Do yourself some justice and speak with moderation of speed and moderation of tone. People will listen.
9. Walk tall
Have you ever noticed how easy it is to spot someone with low self esteem? Their body language tells you so. To feel more confident, walk with confidence. Stretch out your body, straighten you back, hold your head up and walk with a confident stride.
10. Dress to impress
In the same way you notice people without confidence by their body language, you also notice their attire. You cannot feel confident if your clothes look like they came from the nearest dumpster. Take pride in your appearance and you will take pride in yourself.
11. Calm the critic
Many people wrongly believe they can boost their own self esteem by belittling and criticizing others. It’s amazing how a few kind and thoughtful words to another can make you feel good about yourself.
12. Don’t be judgmental
As human beings, we all pass judgment on others, but that judgment needn’t be harsh or critical. Sure, make a judgment call but don’t allow that judgment to envelop you and dictate how you will relate to others. Simply note the judgment and move on.
13. Listen and look
People with good self confidence skills listen attentively when others are speaking. People with low self esteem “hear” rather than “listen” (there is a BIG difference!) Watch people’s faces as they speak to you and take note of their expressions. They are conveying a message that’s important to them.
14. Be authentic
Understand that the person you are is real and authentic. Don’t attempt to be someone who makes you feel uncomfortable. Take pleasure and comfort in being exactly who you are.
15. Say “why not” instead of “why”
Boosting your self confidence often requires that you step outside your comfort zone. Instead of asking “why?” ask “why not?” The opportunities that arise when you say “why not” can often far outweigh the risks.
16. Negotiate rather than negate
A difference of opinion or a misunderstanding does not have to end in an all-out brawl. Employ a self confident approach by negotiating a tense situation rather than arguing and fighting needlessly.
17. Embrace change
People who lack self confidence fear change. Remind yourself that change is a part of life and that the outcome of most change is positive. Embrace the joy and sense of achievement you’ll feel when you have stepped outside your comfort zone.
18. Be honest
Being honest with yourself and those around you can be very rewarding. Being honest with yourself is accepting who you are – faults and all. Being honest with others is a confidence boost because it instills trust.
19. Share
Share your thoughts, feelings, opinions, weaknesses and strengths with others. They’ll admire and respect you for it.
20. Imagine
Imagination is one of our most cherished possessions. Allow yourself to “think outside the box” and there’s no telling where your imagination can take you. Imagine you are the person you want to be and choose to realize that vision.
Which one of these tips will you add into your life to boost your confidence? Make a list and begin adding them one a time.