Do you possess an inspiring symbol of hope or peace of mind? Do you use it as a cue to increase your self-awareness and alter the way you are feeling at any given moment? The great psychologist Carl Jung once wrote, “Only the symbolic life can express the need of the soul–the daily need of the soul, mind you!” Everyone has soul needs, especially when grieving. Using a personal symbol will help you fill this deep inner need and have an immense effect on the focus of your thought life.

Symbols bring great meaning when suffering, and are potent sources to draw on in coping with loss. Visual reminders and images have always been high-powered motivators and energizers. Archibald MacLeish, American poet and Pulitzer Prize winner, has argued that we are moved more by symbols than by ideas. A personal symbol will alert you to do something about your present condition; it will give direction to your life. Use it to shock you out of a spiraling down turn.

Choose a symbol that will remind you of the beliefs, goals, new skills, behaviors, or routines that you wish to establish. Or, you can use it as a signal to let go of unfinished business, any conflict that you had with the deceased, or to say a prayer, or repeat an important affirmation. The color, shape, and material of the symbol can also be used to recall spiritual truths and specific events that stimulate inspirational thoughts.

Anyone can learn to find comfort through the use of motivating symbols, which are essentially reminders to change behavior. The key to success in using them is twofold: choose the appropriate visual reminder for what you want to accomplish, and develop the awareness to immediately employ the optimistic response you associate with it–at the moment of need. If you change your current state of focus, you will indeed control feelings and emotions.

Here is a partial list of suggestions for possible symbols you might choose.

1. A quote from your favorite author. Over 40 years ago, I read a book called Heart of a Champion, by the Olympic gold medal pole vault champion, Bob Richards. Here is a quote I have always remembered: “The determining factor in life is not ability, its what you think you can do. You can stretch every aspect of your being if you are dedicated.”

2. A favorite memory put on canvas, drawn, or sketched.

3. Any object that belonged to the deceased or one he/she purchased for you.

4. An emblem designed with a personal message that only you will know its meaning. Here’s an example: IWALU (I will always love you).

5. Frame a line or two from a poem to hang in a special place in your home or office. One of my favorites is Will by Ella Wheeler Wilcox (1850-1919) and these three lines:

There is no chance, no destiny, no fate,

Can circumvent or hinder or control

The firm resolve of a determined soul.

6. A quilt made of clothing worn by the loved one.

7. A heart-shaped stone or other stone found at the seashore. Have it, or any small object you like, put in Lucite and placed on a shelf or table.

8. A photo of a place you visited with your loved one or one cut from a magazine.

9. A zipper hugger clipped on to a coat zipper or a key chain.

10. Pocket tokens.

Deaths of loved ones leave a lasting mark, and your loss will force you to become a more complete person, wiser, and more understanding of the need for love, discovery, and a changing vision. Symbols will bring you in touch with that inherent wisdom as they nourish your spirit. So take the time to use your imaginative muscle and create a symbol that will stir your depths and strengthen your inner life.