I sometimes get questions from people who want to know the best advice for a troubled marriage and I honestly give them 1 simple rule, which is “keep everything you do honest.” Some of them do not quite understand this simple rule, which I will explain to you.

I am ready to help you turn your troubled marriage into a happy and blissful one. The one you dreamed of when you decided to get married. But you must be willing to make some small investment to develop and improve yourself and that of your spouse.

Just as you invested heavily on stocks and other financial instruments, you must be willing to invest on your relationship with your spouse. You must be ready to read books that can help you save your marriage, stop your marriage from breaking up, prevent lover’s rejection and build a happy marriage.

It is a known fact that two forceful personalities in a relationship are like two rivers flowing into one; there is going to be a strong current. Anger can be instant like a flash of lightning, or prolonged like the rumble of thunder. Sometimes we clash painfully, other times we distance and silently abandon the relationship. But anger handled the right way doesn’t have to destroy your marriage.

Here is one simple rule for handling your anger and resolving issues in a troubled marriage.

Rule 1: Keep it honest. “Stop telling lies. Let us tell…the truth…don’t sin by letting anger control you…” (Ephesians 4: 25 – 26 NLT). When you are angry don’t deny it. Anger can be constructive. We are right to get angry when we are mistreated and wrongs are not made right.

Saying, “I have been feeling angry and, because I value our relationship, I would like talk about it,” is honest, non-threatening and invites resolution. Observe:

1. Ignoring, stifling, suppressing, or pretending you are not angry is basically dishonest.
2. Another form of lying when you are angry is exaggeration. “You never listen to what I say.” “You always ignore my wishes.” “Nobody does anything around here except me.” Such generalizations are untrue and serve only to aggravate and polarize, guaranteeing the real problem gets obscured and goes unsolved.
3. Another way to lie when you are angry is blaming. “If you’d arrive on time I wouldn’t have to nag you,” or “If you’d quit nagging so much, maybe I’d start being on time.” Blaming is a way of evading your own responsibility while pointing the finger at others. It angers others, perpetuates your own anger and never produces the result you want.

Let each one of you speak the truth, and it works to cure any troubled marriage when you do it in love. This is my best advice for a troubled marriage. What do you think? Strive for the truth in thought and action and you will enjoy your marriage. How do you do this?