After twenty years of research, the formula to flourish has been discovered! A new book, Positivity, has two exciting, inter-related ideas that will boost the contentment and happiness in your family. The author, Dr. Barbara Fredrickson, is a top-notch researcher at the forefront of the Positive Psychology movement.

Big Concept #1: The 3:1 Positivity Ratio. “We need three positive emotions to lift us up for every negative emotion that drags us down,” states Fredrickson. Respectful, kind, encouraging words can stop a downward spiral and activate an upward spiral, with increasing satisfaction and happiness. This 3:1 ratio of positive to negative emotions is necessary to generate the uplifting and expanding growth of the “Broaden-and-Build” theory.

Big Concept #2: The “Broaden-and-Build” Theory explains that increasing positive emotions creates an upward and outward spiral. That’s because positive emotions lead people to be more open, expansive, creative, and flexible. People become healthier, more resilient, and have better relationships as a result of more positive emotions. Science has given us answers to the question: “What good are good emotions?”

The founder of Positive Psychology, Professor Martin Seligman Ph.D., takes this concept one step further, stating that “positive emotions undo negative emotions.” The 3:1 method can actually halt a downward spiral to begin an upward spiral of “good-stuff-getting-better,” and even undo negativity in the process. Try this in your family. Introduce and maintain plenty of positive activities-comfort, support, encouragement, and play-and notice what happens.

So if you ever feel like you’ve blown it (when you yell at your kids, for example) remember the 3:1 ratio. If you consciously give them three positive messages, they can stay focused on your love and your family will move upwards and outwards.

Finally, Dr. Fredrickson suggests simple ways to be positive: “Lightly create the mindset of positivity – be open, be appreciative, be curious, be kind, but above all, be real.”