“My wife doesn’t feel the same anymore,” said the man afraid that his marriage was rapidly heading towards divorce. There’s obviously no guarantee in place when you marry that your wife will honor the vow that states until death do you part. She probably wants to but something inside of her has changed. She no longer feels as close to you and perhaps she’s even expressed that she does indeed love you but isn’t in love with you anymore. They are hard words and feelings to absorb. You can react by either letting her go or trying to save the marriage. If you strongly believe that you two still have many experiences left to enjoy, you need to give your relationship the attention it deserves.

Regardless of whether your wife has told you that she doesn’t feel the same anymore or you’ve made that assumption yourself, things in the marriage have shifted. It’s very easy for one spouse to confuse what they’re feeling and the possibility of that isn’t something you should ignore. If your wife has been feeling neglected or her needs aren’t being met within the relationship that is going to change how she interacts with you. However, the fact that her feelings are different may be more about being disconnected from you as a partner than completely falling out of love with you.

In general if the two of you are getting along, you can definitely repair the relationship and pull her closer again. Your wife has to become your top priority. Nothing in your life can be more important than tending to her needs and the rebuilding of the relationship. That means you have to make more time for her that is strictly one-on-one time. If you have children you need to start viewing your wife through the eyes of a romantic partner and not just a co-parent.

Listen to your wife as well. Don’t negate what she feels by telling her that everything will be fine. To her, everything is not fine and she needs to be heard. Allow her to talk, encourage it. Listen intently and don’t jump to defend yourself too quickly. If you do that she’ll shut down and her feelings for you will never shift back to where you want them to be.

It’s vital that she knows and feels that you love her deeply. Tell her and show her. Do whatever is necessary to make her life easier. Work towards making her feel as cherished now as she did the day you two married. Doing that will help her feel closer to you again and will help reawaken all those feelings she’s been burying.