Let’s begin, by telling the story of how this little Happy Book started.

In 1988, when my friend was suddenly thrust into deep mourning, for the untimely loss of her husband, she felt confused and unsure of what to do with the rest of her life. Everything had happened so quickly and she was left, totally unprepared to face a future without her lifetime partner. She just wanted things to go on being the same as always but it was inevitable that changes would happen.

Some days after her husband’s funeral, she voiced her concerns to a girlfriend – who’d dropped in for a quick cuppa – about what she was going to do in the future. Her girlfriend thought for a few moments, about what she’d said, then suggested she should do something that made her happy.

“What is it that makes you really happy?” her girlfriend inquired.

My friend thought about the question for a while and was surprised to find she was unable to easily answer the question.

“I don’t really know what it is that makes me happy. I have never given it much thought. Life was good and I was kept busy with a husband, raising a family and working in the family business.”

My friend was so overwhelmed by the pressure of events and grief; she could not recall anything that made her happy. She’d had very little time for herself, after rushing round like a whirlwind, doing tasks for her husband and family. Things like working around the farm, learning to manage their business affairs and visiting the hospital – once her husband was suddenly taken ill – to stop and contemplate whether she was happy. Life had just been too hectic.

Instead of becoming easier – following his passing – life became even busier and more difficult. With barely any time to grieve the partner, she’d so quickly lost, she struggled to shoulder the load of business decisions that were now hers to make – as well as – run the farm and attend to her family responsibilities.

Not knowing what made her happy, bothered my friend so, one morning, she sat down at the kitchen table and began to list in an old school exercise book, all the things she did, each day, that made her happy. It didn’t have to be things that made her riotously ‘over-the-top’ happy – just the things that made her feel good inside.

She made a habit of doing this whenever they came to mind – or at least – every night, before going to bed. She noticed, as she wrote, that her happiness seemed to increase at an exponential rate. The more she wrote, the happier she seemed to become! She called her little book, the ‘Happy book’.

Being a naturally cheerful person, it wasn’t long before that first exercise book was full, replaced in turn, by further exercise books. Reading back through the book, she’d completed, was an eye opener for her! It told her so much about herself and the things she liked doing. Whenever she had a sad day – as we all do occasionally – she simply looked back through her Happy books and found some things she could do, to elevate her mood.

She says, “Keeping a Happy book is an interesting exercise and I commend it to you. It becomes a valuable resource, because – as well as gaining insights into your inner self – just reading about your happier times, when you’re feeling blue, can lift your spirits.”

Imagine that! Just reading about the happiness that she’d recorded, in her Happy books, every day – elevated her mood and made her feel happier! After reading for a short while, she’d choose one activity from the book and enjoy doing that, to uplift her mood to a happier one. She had learned how to find happiness for herself. It worked for her!

My friend was so happy about this discovery that she told all her family and friends, how keeping her Happy book, was helping her cope with the challenges she now faced.

When, in the early 1990’s, we first began working together, on the manuscript for a book we were writing, called “About Storytelling”, she nagged and pushed me into starting a Happy book of my own. I was reluctant at first, but she was insistent. Surprisingly, it didn’t take me long to fill an A4 size notebook.

Beginning this exercise showed me some interesting things about myself. Looking back through my first Happy book and reading about what made me happy, told me a lot about the kind of person I was. There were great insights to be found there. For me, it was a simple form of psychoanalysis and helped me understand more about my inner self.

When later, following surgery, I suffered from a life-threatening blood clot that travelled from my leg to become a large embolus on my lung, life looked very dicey. However, my little Happy book, and a positive approach, helped me overcome this – and the many other challenges I faced, in the months to come – as recurrent blood clots threatened my life. It was an interesting process that easily showed the progress I was making.

Knowing that it worked for us, my friend and I began to tell others about the Happy book. They too, found it helpful and – like us – discovered the secrets of the happiness, they’d recorded in the book. Community organisations asked us to talk about our Happy book to their members.

Bereaved friends, people who’d lost partners, friends – or even – family members; kept Happy books with them, as they went about their daily lives and they wrote into them, the happy memories that frequently flashed into their minds throughout the day. This simple exercise helped many people through the long process of grieving. Later, they told us how participating in this activity, brought them comfort.

Friends, suffering an assortment of ill-health woes – especially those, whose lives were blighted by bouts of depression – also found it useful, to be able to lift their mood from the depths of despair, to a higher, happier plateau. It’s human nature to look back at what has gone before, prior to making the new entries. After the day’s items are listed, you experience a great sense of well being, from just revisiting these happy events.

In the process, they discovered that they alone were responsible for their happiness. Not their partner, nor their friends, or families. Everyone was delighted to have learnt a technique that helped change their mood, without having to resort to medication and its potentially addictive side effects.

Some parents gave a Happy book to their children, to help them cope with the disappointments, they felt at times and to refocus their minds on the good things they enjoyed, right now. This was especially helpful for those kids, who’d lost a parent or friend, through sickness, separation, divorce or relocation.

All found the little book, helped change their mood and focus – from misery and negativity, to a new, more positive kind of happiness and contentment, so that there were fewer ‘blue’ periods of sadness.

As word spread, we were being asked to speak to more and more small community groups and we found that members of our audience couldn’t wait to get hold of some the pretty books, just like the ones we used and read excerpts from.

So we proceeded to hand make some, to satisfy the demand.

Covers

Aware that the tactile and visual senses played an integral part in achieving a happy state of mind, we decided to cover small, hard-covered notebooks with pretty patterned paper. People liked them and bought them for their eye appeal; but we quickly became dissatisfied with the glossy, decorative paper. With frequent use, our paper-covered books became worn and shabby, which was disappointing; certainly not the image we wanted to project.

Aware of the need for a durable cover that was visually pleasing – along with tactile qualities that stimulated the sense of touch – we spent time researching the importance of the tactile qualities of some fabrics we planned to use to replace the paper covers. Happy with the result, we sought out some resilient, vibrantly coloured and textured fabrics.

The importance of texture

While eye appeal is significant; stimulating the tactile senses of the hands is very important to one’s happiness. Its importance grows, as we age, and some of our other senses – such as hearing and sight – begin to fade. This is the reason people who run aged care programs, encourage a wide variety of handwork among their participants.

On specific parts of our hands, are sensory areas – similar to accupressure points – which, when stimulated by touching textured surfaces, can lead to the release of serotonin in the brain, to produce a flood of endorphins into our bloodstream, to lift our mood.

Bearing this in mind, we selected and covered our books with bright, textured fabrics, so they looked cheerful, attractive and felt good to handle. We enjoyed making and handling the first batch of these beautiful books and to our delight, our limited stock sold, surprisingly fast.

To replace them, we bought some inexpensive, hard-covered notebooks, glue and a range of bright, textured fabrics and began to produce more of the fabric-covered books. It was an onerous task for us to make enough books, as well as, prepare material for our speaking engagements and write our storytelling book at the same time, so we asked friends if, for a small payment per book, they would like to cover them for us.

Some of these ladies suffered from the curse of depression and low self-esteem. Just making and handling the books, seemed to give them a more positive focus. Soon, they too, were converted. All later told us, they were beginning keep their own Happy books and to lead more positive lives.

To our delight, the books were uplifting to look at and felt lovely to work with. The fabrics we used, were very colourful and tactile. Everyone associated with this project seemed to become happier and eagerly looked forward to further books to cover (it wasn’t just the small amount of pocket money they received). This was a spin-off we hadn’t expected.

Our helpers became scouts. When shopping, they looked out for even more beautiful fabrics to cover our Happy books. Often they would phone in, to tell us of stores selling discounted, colourful fabrics we could use, as covers for the books. This was an indication of their deep commitment to sharing their newfound happiness.

When the books were ready, we added a foreword at the front – a few simple words about how to use the Happy book and, as endnotes, at the back – some words of encouragement to keep people going, once the pages of the book were full.

To cover our expenses – of making and materials – we sold these pretty, tactile books to people in our growing audiences, at cost (at this stage, making a profit was not a major consideration for us). We were convinced our simple technique of recording their happiness, could really help needy people find the keys to their inner happiness, and we were anxious to prove, the Happy book could work for others, beside our families and close friends.

The little books became very popular, so we made more. It’s been interesting to stand back and watch how people handled them; at first, enjoying the vibrant colour and feel of the textured cover, before opening them and reading the front and back messages.

Many bought books for “someone they knew, who needed to cheer up” – never for themselves. Hearing this comment, we’d suggest they buy two – and keep one for their own use. Often they were surprised at our suggestion.

I spoke to one of my doctors, who became interested in what we were doing and he bought a few books, to give to some of his patients. He used one himself, which he filled very quickly. Late one night, I received a long phone call from him, telling me of his experience and asking for more books. He’s been one of our biggest supporters.

He told us that looking back through his Happy book, he recognised some important things in his life that he enjoyed; but only did on rare occasions. So he started to make changes to his life that brought him more happiness. His family life and married relationship began to improve, following these lifestyle adjustments. He still occasionally calls and continues to write daily in his Happy book, as he enjoys uncovering the hidden keys to his happiness.

A psychiatrist, who discovered one of his patients in a psychiatric hospital using a Happy book – one that had been given her as a gift, by her sister – became interested in the process. To make sure the whole concept of the strategy was understood, I decided to write the book “Links to Your Happiness” and promote it on to explain what the Happy book is all about and how it works.

Prior to my move away, from the increasing pressure of Sydney life – to the more relaxed lifestyle, found around the shores of Lake Macquarie – I became so busy with other aspects of my life that I sidle-lined the book I was writing. However, I received increasing encouragement to persevere and complete “Links to Your Happiness”, from supporters.

People, who were given Happy books, continued to give us positive feedback about the way this simple activity has affected and helped improve their lives. After a while – and with so much encouragement – we could no longer ignore the call for our little books. The talks about Happiness are, once again, in demand by community organisations.