I’ve just woken up fresh and energetic, all geared up to start off a brand new day. I get ready, drive off, arrive at my office, greet the guards, cleaners and make small talks with my colleagues before real work starts. Then, I head to my work space, make my morning coffee, check my emails, and off I am to completing piles of work on my desk. It has been a daily routine, 6 times a week for the past 3 years and all have been well with only minor arguments, disputes, and scolding from my superiors. I taught myself to be happy in every situation, controlling myself from getting angry with anyone-successfully done.

As usual, as I went to my boss’s office to submit my assignment and I was particularly in high spirits since I spent a few sleepless nights to complete a complex proposal for a new project. As she read through my proposal, I was beaming all the way to myself. After she had read it, I was awaken from my day dreaming as she slammed it on the table and screamed at me. It was apparently not the way she wanted it to be, but I was completely sure I followed her instructions closely (there was even written documentation). This was the first time I felt so angry and humiliated. Anger had won over me and slowly seeped into other aspect of my life, making me completely miserable. After a while, I felt so stupid for wasting my time being angry since it did not change anything, but worsened my own life. I started to analyze the situation objectively and would like to share some tips on anger management in the workplace.

The first step is to learn to take things easy. Especially in the office, everyone is confined in a closed space and people tend to flare up over even the slightest matters. You can beat that trend; stay happy even in the worst matters. When things go wrong, don’t get angry but take one step back and think of a solution or alternative. Take things more lightly and you can think with a clear mind, make better decisions and prevent unwanted consequences.

Another important rule is to control yourself from reacting. When my superior screamed at me and gave me a big scolding, I reacted by shouting back and defending myself. This caused our quarrel to heat up even more, but fortunately another superior came in and helped me out (I’ve shifted department since). Thinking back, I realized that I should not have shouted back but instead speak in a calm manner. If the person refuses to listen, I should just move away, find concrete evidence or another staff to help me out. Once you react, you will simply blurt out whatever that’s on your mind (even wrong things) and give the other party a reason to argue further with you. Don’t waste your breath!

If you feel like telling someone, try talking to a trusted friend. As human beings, it is impossible to never experience anger no matter how good-tempered you are. Especially at the workplace, it’s all about money and people are constantly backstabbing or trying to outdo one another. Sometimes, it is better to talk to a trusted friend or family member instead of bottling it up. It won’t change anything, but you will feel much lighter in your heart or gain some advice from someone’s perspective. Anyways, ‘two heads are better than one’.

Anger management varies for each individual. There are many other different ways to manage anger, but most importantly do not let it control your life and make you miserable. Just remember, each moment you get angry, you lose every moment of happiness.