Having an open line of communication with your partner is an important key to a successful marriage. If you and your partner know how to communicate effectively, your marriage is always on the safe zone. Communication can be both verbal and non-verbal. Verbal communication uses words as a form of expression, both oral and written. On the other hand, non-verbal communication uses gestures with corresponding meanings.

The non-verbal mode is more reliable than the other. Clearly, talking isn’t only what communication is all about. It’s more complex but blissful than what most couples think. Here’s a guide to effectively communicate with your spouse.

Say what you feel. Being open about your feelings to your partner is one of the biggest reasons why communication is a key to a successful marriage. If your partner did something that made you upset, tell him/her how you feel. Keeping the hurt to yourself is not at all healthy for you, your partner, and even your marriage. Saying what you feel also means letting your partner know how much you love them. Letting your partner hear you say ‘I love you’ more often always creates a loving atmosphere between the two of you.

Act what you feel. This is a non-verbal form of communication. Loving gestures like kissing, hugging, and touching are very effective ways to show your love to your partner. These actions strengthen your connection with your partner. A connection only the two of you shares.

Tell your partner what you want. Your partner is not a mind reader so you must say what you want. If your spouse tells you that he’s planning to buy you a bracelet on your anniversary, tell him you would prefer a watch instead. Being honest with what you really want will save both of you from frustrations, of feeling unappreciated after the effort and disappointed of the gift you really didn’t want in the first place.

Don’t rely on your instincts. If your partner is not a mind reader, you are not either. If you feel like you know what your partner is thinking all the time, it’s safe to not always rely on what you feel. Although you and your partner know each other a lot, asking is not dangerous to know the facts and truth.

Listen more. Rather than speaking, listening is the most important part of communication. Your marriage is not always about you, about your emotions, about your stories. But with equal importance, it’s also about your partner’s hurts, emotions, and stories. Take more time to listen than talk. In instances when you and your partner are having a fight, give more attention to what he’s saying rather than how he says it.

It will also help to pause for a quiet moment when voices are already high. If you’re partner is already shouting, levelling up to his voice will make things worse. Listening is another strong element of communication as it plays its role as a key to a successful marriage.

View arguments constructively. Having arguments and disagreements doesn’t mean that you and your partner are not communicating effectively. Arguing and disagreeing sometimes makes communication a more potent key to a successful marriage. However, despite having differences in views and opinions, respect must still prevail over you and your partner. In this way, arguments and disagreements will be constructive and will improve your communication skills.