We understand you. You’re looking for the best pickup lines, so that you can deliver them to the hottest women you see, guaranteeing your success with them. Make sure you’re sitting down, because here they are:

You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?
Do you have a map? I’m getting lost in your eyes.
Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only ten I see!

Or how about this classic pickup line: “Hey babe, how’s it hanging? I’m a Scorpio. What’s your sign?”

The Best Pickup Lines Are Not!

Do you detect something wrong here? How do you think a woman would respond to any of these pickup lines? If you’re having a hard time formulating an answer, just imagine if a woman used one of these lines on you.

Pickup lines are dead. They went out with the TransAm, gold chains, and Burt Reynolds. Today, they’re called openers, and for good reason. The purpose is to open a conversation with a woman. Good, lively, and funny conversation is the best aphrodisiac around.

How to Craft a Good Opener

There are 3 conditions you want to meet:

Engage interest.
Be non-threatening.
Avoid situational pickup lines.

If you don’t get her interest, you’re dead in the water. No, you don’t need to stand on your head to interest a woman. Instead, many pickup artists employ what are called non sequitur lines. In other words, your opening statement seems to “come from left field.” If you happen to be at the beach, the first words out of your mouth do not involve sand and sun. Instead, you launch into a brief, funny story about something entirely different.

Starting with a non sequitur line always attracts attention. It also helps you avoid the dreaded situational opener, which is the typical comment along the lines of “Gee, bad weather we’re having” or “Wow, this place is really crowded.” Situational openers mark you as mundane and commonplace.

Finally, be non-threatening. Coming on sexually suggestive in the first ten seconds is definitely not recommended. Save that for much, much later in the attraction process. Rather, aim to bring a little fun and humor into her day. A compliment about her shoes is always a nice way to spark a conversation.